I hereby presenting one of the simplest yet one of the most confusing behavior (can be a sense too)we experience. The loyalty we have and the loyalty we give. Sometimes Overlapping and dreamy, sometimes not aligned and hardy. Shit happens. Loyalty towards friends, family, lovers, co-workers even though the barista who brews you coffee every day, your hairdresser, even to your own routines. Loyalty is not a sense just occurring between people who are close to each other. It all has different levels in that matter and its occurring because of different reasons.
So, Let’s break down the concept.
I’d like to write more than just mere words and present some facts. Let me introduce you to James Kane. He is a leading researcher and consultant in the science of loyalty. Yes, you heard it right. We can talk scientifically about loyalty.
Kane defined Loyalty as it follows;
“Loyalty is a behaviour. Neurons enable us to learn and the brain evolved to know who to be loyal to because development as it child takes a long time before we are able to operate independently. You need to be loyal to those who look after you when you are incapable of fending for yourself.”
In a shorter version: Loyalty is when you have my back, behind my back.
According to Kane, In order for us to feel loyal towards something or someone we have to we feel TRUST; BELONGING(The most critical part) and PURPOSE. If we feel those 3 feelings, we will be loyal.
Now, what creates the feeling of “belonging” in our minds? Firstly, being insightful is important. Things that we need to be aware of and situations we might need to face. Why it's important? We can share their hardships and be sympathetic. This is a way of seeing we are in this together.
What do we do when we are aware of how an event might occur? We prepare ourselves in advance to be prepared. We become proactive. This is important to increase the sense of belonging.
(Dear reader, I hope you are taking notes)
Another important point is Inclusion. We need to let them being part of the decision-making. Wherever possible make them feel included. In a business environment, let them be a part of the solution. In personal relationships, if you allow them to be a part of this process, that will create an attachment between you and them.
Last but not least, we should share our passions and interest with them. Why do we do that? We have to share something in order to build a connection and building connections are increasing loyalty.
Moreover, I want to suggest the following set of questions if you are questioning your own loyalty.
Does it make my life easier?
Does it make my life better?
Does it make me more productive?
Does it make me more efficient?
Loyalty is something we should expect if only we are putting work on it. It requires effort and time. The best results occurs when the loyalty between parties are overlapping.
If the loyalty is not in the table, absance should be there instead.